STUFF I’VE LEARNED THAT SEMINARY DIDN’T TEACH ME #18

People will leave your congregation. They will die.  They will move.  They will get mad.  They will have personal problems they do not want to confront. They will find a shinier new toy down the road—better preacher, bigger ministries, etc. Ours is a consumer culture and that has infected the church. Get over it. You can’t lead people if you need people. Everybody ain’t gonna like you. Suck it up, buttercup! 

Now, if you have abused them, neglected them, or in some other sinful way failed them, repent and seek reconciliation!  Since pastors are not perfect, and people we pastor are not perfect, then the formula for interpersonal issues is ever present. Yet, many are unwilling to admit there are issues and try to resolve them. Pastor, lead the way, but recognize that some will not want to deal with this messy business. They will move on.  Bless them, and you move ahead without them!

Certainly we grieve for every sheep that strays from the flock and must do what we can to seek them. But, after repeated efforts, understand that some are not sheep—they are goats.  Jesus was the only perfect leader, and He even had to let one of his twelve disciples walk away.  For, the rest of us, it will happen with more frequency. You will grieve, but the mission is greater than a particular member—so, take up the cross and follow Jesus.

At the end of the Apostle Paul’s ministry, most seemed to have abandoned him. It hurt—and it will hurt you. Do you think he was a failure?  It is a ludicrous suggestion. It is life in a fallen world—and that is the spot where we serve. Paradise is coming, but we are not there yet.  So, don’t sit in a corner, and sulk. Stop your whining and get busy doing what you can!

The great Jonathan Edwards was used of God to bring spiritual awakening and thereby contributed in a significant way to the birth of America. His sermon, “Sinners In the Hands of an Angry God,” is renowned, centuries later. His congregation fired him!  Ultimately, we serve the Lord Christ, and we can leave the rewards and recognition to Him.  

STUFF I’VE LEARNED THAT SEMINARY DIDN’T TEACH ME #17

Trust your wife’s intuition. Pontius Pilate should have listened to his wife. As Jesus was on trial before the Roman Governor, she warned,  “Have nothing to do with that righteous man, for today I’ve suffered terribly in a dream because of him.”  (Matthew‬ ‭27:19‬ ‭CSB‬‬). That turned out well for us, as God accomplished His work of redemption for sinners through the hands of sinful men. It didn’t turn out well for Pilate, as he sought to wash his hands of injustice.  Water had no power to cleanse the guilt in his soul. 

Women seem to have an intuition that men do not have. God has wired the sexes up differently. My wife notices things that I am oblivious to and senses things that I am not aware of. There have been numerous times she has saved my hide by telling me what the results of my actions will be before I take them. Some times I have pressed on in a particular matter, thinking, “That’s not an issue!”  I found out that it was!

God has given you a precious gift if you have a godly wife. Mine prays for me, reads her Bible, and gives me a perspective I do not have and that I need. Seminary professors are great in what they teach, but your wife will instruct you in things you cannot learn in a classroom.

STUFF I’VE LEARNED THAT SEMINARY DIDN’T TEACH ME #16

Don’t make big decisions on Monday morning. Unless you are backed into a corner with a gun stuck to your head, there is rarely a reason you would have to do it the first thing when you walk into the office. 

Mondays can be tough for preachers. You have poured yourself out on Sunday. Your tank is empty and you are running on fumes. The best thing you can do is catch your breath, open up your Bible, and spend some time in prayer. After that, look at the calendar and plan the week.  

Without this, your perspective on that big decision will tend to be skewed. A thousand things may be swirling around in your head that make the kind of focus necessary for that big decision nigh impossible. Yesterday, you found out a good deacon has been diagnosed with cancer. Sister Bertha got sideways with you—again. There was not the visible response to the sermon for which you had hoped. Need I go on?  If you are a pastor, you have sat in that Monday morning chair of blues. 

Now, you might blindfold yourself and get lucky and hit the bull’s eye with the arrow of your decision. But, why risk it? The odds are rather that you will miss—and the miss is as huge in a negative way.

Pray some more.  Seek counsel from a trusted friend or two. Pray again.  Then you can make that big decision on Monday afternoon—or first thing Tuesday morning!  But, don’t keep putting it off!  That’s another issue, and for another post. 

STUFF I’VE LEARNED THAT SEMINARY DIDN’T TEACH ME #15

 

Set parameters on counseling—particularly when meeting with women or minors. There needs to be a policy fence put up for your protection. There is the so-called “Billy Graham rule” that ought to be adopted. Early in his ministry, he set a policy where he and his team would not meet with women alone, ride with them, dine with them, and so forth. It apparently worked, as their evangelistic organization was scandal free from charges of immoral behavior, so far as I know.  

Even in the case where one might avoid yielding to temptation, this does not prevent a false accusation from being made—and there will always be those who believe it.  So, DON’T MEET BY YOURSELF WITH A WOMAN OTHER THAN YOUR WIFE!  Be careful what information you share with any lady, and how much time you spend with them.  If David—a man after God’s own heart, who brought down a giant with a slingshot—could fall, so can we.

Another big danger is the internet.  You are always but a click away from being sucked into the cesspool of pornography. Pastors and staff need accountability. Filtering software may help, but accountability software is even safer.  Cable TV makes porn easily accessible.  You don’t have to visit an X-rated bookstore.  It’s good to have your wife with you when you travel, or another preacher room with you, so the hotel room doesn’t become a trap to catch you up in lust.  

“Flee from youthful passions...” (2 Tim.2:22a CSB).  Remember, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!   

STUFF I’VE LEARNED THAT SEMINARY DIDN’T TEACH ME #14

 

A prospective and/or new member class taught by the Senior Pastor is vital. It enables him to establish connections with them at the beginning. Also, he is able to establish expectations for them as they begin their membership journey. More than a remote talking head, he becomes a shepherd among the sheep in a more informal setting. 

STUFF I’VE LEARNED THAT SEMINARY DIDN’T TEACH ME #13

Pray that God would take you home to heaven before you become a stumbling block.  Seek to finish well. Pray this often and humbly cast yourself on the grace of God to keep you!  

Look at the contrast between the end of Uzziah and Paul in their service to God. 

“But when he became strong, he grew arrogant, and it led to his own destruction. He acted unfaithfully against the Lord his God by going into the Lord’s sanctuary to burn incense on the incense altar. ... So King Uzziah was diseased to the time of his death. He lived in quarantine with a serious skin disease and was excluded from access to the Lord’s temple, while his son Jotham was over the king’s household governing the people of the land.”  (2 Chronicles‬ ‭26:16, 21‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

“For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time for my departure is close. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. There is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on that day, and not only to me, but to all those who have loved his appearing.”  (2 Timothy‬ ‭4:6-8‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

Both had started well, climbed high, but then in pride, Uzziah surrendered to the flesh and fell, while Paul soared in faithfulness on into glory!

What will your end be?

STUFF I’VE LEARNED THAT SEMINARY DIDN’T TEACH ME #12

 

Resist the success SIN-drome. Design ministry to reach the lost rather than marketing to disgruntled church members. There is a reason why people move from church to church. They often bring their dysfunction with them. Let them bless the church down the road.